Cold-hearted
by the-winterina
Summary: Six months have passed since Arendelle was in eternal winter. Over a decade has passed since Elsa heard that voice in her head saying everything was going to be alright. When she really needed its comfort, the voice she knew vanished like she never believed. When she was about to give up on the voice, she reunited with her child consultant but is he who she thought he was? Jelsa.


**{Dear reader,**

**Hello! So I've recently been obsessed with Rise of the guardians, the movie that came out in 2012 and Frozen, the Disney movie that came out in 2013. In my two days in the fandom, I was introduced to the couple commonly referred to as Jelsa (Jack Frost x Elsa). I was a shipper of it from the start. After looking at incredible fan art on Tumblr and DeviantART and reading amazing fanfictions about Jelsa, I decided it was time to come up with my own story about them.**

**I put a lot of time into my fanfictions and stories, and even though I have yet to finish one, I really think hard and deep about the plot and the whole story line of the story. For example, for the Jelsa one you are about to read, I have come up with an ending for it already and then I was planning a sequel (if enough people like this story and if I ever complete this one I might write the sequel). And...I even planned the ending for the sequel. :|**

**Yeah. I have a lot of time on my hands. Trust me, you have no idea how many fanfictions and stories I thought of and finished in my head... I will try my best to finish this story, regardless of it gets bad reviews or not. This is something that I want to do to make me feel like I've accomplished something in life! Although, reviews would push me to finish it...whether it's constructive criticism or just an awesome compliment, I will take it both ways. :)**

**Anyways, with all thoughts aside, I hope you Jelsa fans enjoy my new piece!**

**~WatchingTheRainbows (call me Rainbows)}**

When I was younger there was a voice in my head. In my many times of desperate pleading and feeling of helplessness, it always came to me. I always heard it, ringing and sharp but also smooth like snow into my ears. It was a boy's voice, I could tell; the way his masculine tone was. He would always keep telling me that it was okay and everything was alright. And I knew it wasn't just me telling myself that because, well, I thought it wasn't going to be fine. I somehow managed to believe that sooner rather than later, because of my distinct fear, I would melt away like the snow I create.

I didn't think that voice of the boy had a physical body until my parents told me tales about him. Of course, they didn't know any one was talking to me but as soon as I heard his name, I knew it was him. I knew he was real. Because he was talking to me. And for some reason, I claimed to acknowledge that I believed in him the whole time. And I didn't even know it until I heard the name: Jack Frost.

After my parents started telling me stories about the Guardians of Childhood, the voice stopped. And when I really needed him, he was gone. I really needed him when I was locked up in my room for over several years and I kept opening up my window, seeing that the snow had come and was still freshly glittering on the ground. I called out: "Jack! Jack!" Because I knew he was the one who I talked to before. And once in a while, my beloved sister would come around to my door and knock on my door with a very musical ring to it and she would start singing.  
>"Do you wanna build a snowman?"<br>She knew I was in my room. She knew it. And I knew she was out there. And sometimes, she would sleep just outside my door at night and instead of returning to my bed which was only a few inches away from where I currently sat, I would sleep against my door too, cuddled up on the snowy ground of my bedroom. And if I was quiet enough, I could hear her soft and light breathing through the heaviness of the door that parted us. That door, with its neatly painted white frame and the beautiful dark blue designs kept me apart from the world for a little over a decade. If I could just open that door...  
>Now you'll probably thinking...well, why couldn't you open that door? Wasn't there a doorknob? Well, yes, as a matter of fact there was. And I constantly stared at the shiny, golden doorknob and it stared at me back, glistening in the way shiny things normally glisten. It wasn't a regular doorknob, no. It barely ever had been used. When it was used, though, when people wrapped their natural, pretty finger around its gold curvy edges, it was usually my parents coming in to check on me. They knew I liked to be alone so they olny checked on me once a month. Minus the times they brought me food, I only got to see my parents twelve times a year.<br>But I could never bring myself to hug my frosty fingers around the doorknob, only because I knew if I did, I would hurt her. I would hurt everybody. If I so much as poked the damned doorknob with even just my finger, I would be piercing my sister's heart, like I almost did physically.  
>The only one in the castle who wasn't aware of my cursed secret was my sister. Her memory was erased of all that magic. She was completely unaware of my room being snuggled wall to wall with cold snow. Cold snow that I made. She was completely unaware of how many tears I shed for her, the struggle I went through, the dpression I underwent.<br>I'm surprised I didn't kill myself.  
>Now that I think about it more though it was probably because of that boy! Yes, that boy! I thought he was going to comfort me if I lived. I thought that he owed me a gift and I was waiting for it. I thought that if I continued to live I might just see him. Not just hear him. But see him.<br>And maybe he was waiting for me too.

My castle got so dark at night; the one I made. This was the only place I could actually be myself. In Arendelle, of course, everyone knew about my power but I couldn't do much to show that I had it. I always felt the power within me was confined in a little fragile bubble, charging and storing up in it, and if I didn't use it all up, it would burst. The bubble would pop spreading out all my monstrous ice and snow magic and I would have no chance of controlling it again.  
>Now, obviously, that wasn't the case. There was no little bubble as thin as a feather and as fragile as china glass inside of me keeping my powers contained. But I always felt that way. Maybe it's for selfish reasons. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I wanted to see my beautiful mystery form out of my hand. I wanted to feel snow against my already cold-as-ice skin as a pretty snowflake gently constructed itself in my palm.<br>I wanted the sighing relief to know that I was special. That I was not just any queen who ruled a kingdom; I had powers. I was a maginificent creature who had this beautiful gift that I could either use as a curse or a blessing. I often reminded myself that 'no one else can do this, no one but me.  
>And no, that's not queen-like behavior, but in my head, it was completely normal.<br>And it's funny. Outside, people always called me generous and selfless and nice. I always did chores around Arendelle, helping fishermen bring in the food they had caught, and played with children who felt down or lonely. But inside, I was utterly selfish. I was only thinking about myself in my head and it's amazing that I can think that in the inside when on the outside, I am anything but what my head claimed for me to be. It's like I was either a cruel joke on the inside or the outside. If the outside was the real me, selfless and kind, or if the inside was the real me, a beautiful monster who only thought of herself.  
>Maybe all of me was a cruel joke.<br>I felt my chin tighten and stretch as my lips grew into a light smile, looking out over the mountain on my huge, ice balcony. I could spot out the dark shape of Arendelle miles away, across the big lake I had once frozen because my bubble burst. But now, it was water. It was water in which the fish swam in and made a home in. It was water in which the children of Arendelle played in and their mothers would scold them about getting wet and tracking water and mud in their homes.  
>With the light smile still on my face, I laughed. It was a little and small laugh but you could still call it a laugh. I looked down at my dress. Still at night, it was glittering light blue. Out of all my dresses, this was my favorite one. The one I made along with this ice castle. It fit an ice queen who lived in this ice castle; me.<br>I got enough of the night and decided to go back into my castle, closing the gigantic ice doors behind me. And I just walked. I just walked around the big room, just hearing the wonderful sound of my high heels clicking on the ice floors. I didn't know why, but that sound always made me feel confident. It always made me feel on top of the world. I wore this exact same outfit when I was in my castle in Arendelle but because the floor there wasn't made out of ice crystals, the sound of my heels wasn't as defined as it was here. Here, it was sharp and quick, there it was muffled beneath the many carpeted floors. I liked hearing my own sound make an echo, like it only did in my ice castle. Again, I was selfish.

I couldn't believe only six months ago, no one but the guards and maids in my palace in Arendelle knew about my powers. It had only been six months since my Coronation when I turned twenty-one. It felt like a decade ago. But no, a year hasn't even passed, I was still twenty-one for heaven's sake!

Maybe it felt like a decade had passed because I had gotten used to it. I had gotten used to the open gates, the happiness that always danced around the kingdom and I had gotten used to it only a week after it started yet when Arendelle was in eternal winter, it took days for my sister and her new fiancee to find me and I still wasn't used to the new arrangement of my living style, the way in which I thought I would always be living from now on.  
>Yes, Anna and Kristoff are engaged. Anna is my sister's name, pronounced different than Anna with a strong 'a.' You had to shape your mouth differently with her name which is one way you could tell that my sister was unique, like me. Kristoff is her fiancee's name. They were only dating two months before Kristoff proposed but at least it was better than getting married to a guy who you only just met that day!<br>I remember exactly the day he proposed, mostly because it was Anna's birthday. She was turning nineteen. I had given my gift to her which was a locket I made out of ice on a golden chain. The locket was shaped in a heart and engraved on the cold, stone ice was "Sisters." Her face when she opened the locket was indescribable. It was a mixture of feelings: pure joy, sadness, shocked excitement. A wave of nostalgia had drowned her for a moment when she stared inside that tiny locket with a picture of me and her as kids next to a very friendly snowman in which I named Olaf. He wasn't alive back then but we often imagined he was.  
>And then came Kristoff's present in which he handed to her in a box very much like mine, small and wimpy. But it held a beautiful surprise, just like mine did. Anna opened it nervously but excited, then she stared at it, examined it, held it up to the light and then she asked Kristoff, "What's this?"<br>"Anna, Princess of Arendelle," he started in a deep and confident voice. "We had been through a lot together and I will never forget Oaken's Trading Post, in which we first met while you were looking for your dear, beloved sister. Your are my first real friend and the only person who actually talks back to me. And I sort of like it. Because we start fights sometimes and that's healthy for humans. I know I'm socially awkward a lot of times but that's only because I had only a reindeer to talk to for the first few years of my life. Asides from Sven, you literally are my best friend. So...Anna, your sister gave us her blessing-"  
>Which was true. Kristoff, without Anna, had come to ask me weeks before her birthday if he could ask for her hand in marriage. Even though they had been dating for only two months before, I happily obliged. I knew enough about Kristoff to know that he wasn't a con man or if he was going to break my sister's heart, just like someone whose name I refuse to mention in this story did.<br>Kristoff continued, "-Will you marry me?"  
>The simple four-worded question that changes life as you know it. Changes your life anyway. It's a yes or a no question but it's hard one. You have to quickly look deep into your heart, checking and asking it if you really do love himher. If you really will do anything for him/her. And you have to think about this all in a second so you won't hesitate and the proposer would think you don't love him/her. Some people misjudge their heart and in a couple of weeks or two, they end up splitting away and they never talk to each other again, let alone see each other.  
>Glancing quickly at Olaf, his snowy face was covered in icy tears. He was balling, anyone could tell, but it was happy. The smile on his little childish face was unspeakably cute. It was only then that I recognized the wet on my cheeks. I was crying too! And I knew this was going to happen on this exact day, in this exact room, in this exact moment.<br>Anna, who undoubtedly, wore a big, sloppy smile on her gorgeous face along with joyful tears, did what any girl would do if they really loved someone.  
>"YES!" She screamed. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" She grabbed Kristoff into a big hug and they twirled around together in delight as my sister yelped in happiness.<br>Olaf and I all clapped and smiled and laughed and cried at the same time. So did the maids, the guards, and the other working people in the castle who were there to witness the princess' proposal.  
>I was happy that the princess was getting married but also felt just the tiniest pain of jealousy. I never been in love, like Anna has. I never have experienced a kiss on the lips, like she has. And one scary thought angered me the most:<br>I would never and most unlikely utterly fall in love like she has.  
>I hugged my arms tight around my torso as I continued to walk in pointless circles around the icy room. Then I stopped at what seem to project me. An icy wall that acted as a mirror and reflected my image back at me. In the darkness, it was hard to see but I could see myself: a tall, white blonde-haired girl who always had it in a clumsy French braid. And my beautiful dress which wasn't queen-like at all but was just as regal and maybe even a bit more. I smoothed one stray of hair that fell back to the top of my head and I sighed.<br>I wasn't doubting that I wasn't pretty enough, but I was worried about the world. The world seemed as if it would never bring me a tall and handsome stranger filled with good qualities. I was afraid that he wouldn't accept the way I felt about my powers, the way I chose to deal with them. The way I felt free when I was away from people. My husband would have to, though. Because I wasn't about to just throw away my personality for the likes of a guy. He would have to accept my powers like I do, like no one else has.  
>Again, Selfish...selfish...<br>I continued walking around the room, with my heels clicking, wondering what to do. I didn't want to sleep, not just yet, I wasn't tired. Should I practice my powers? No, maybe not now. I did that every time I vacationed here which was about one a month and I was getting tired of it. It was the only thing I could do around here. Just to keep myself busy I once constructed a snow bear that I could talk to and confess my feelings to it just to have some company. I didn't know why but I failed to make the snow bear come to life like I had with Olaf. Probably something inside of me wouldn't let me because it knew if I did make it alive, it would replace Olaf.  
>So I was glad it didn't come to life.<br>I wish something out of the ordinary happened here...

After about thirty minutes of walking, I got tired and sat down, looking up at the chandelier, then turning my head to the ground to look at the reflective icy floor.  
>"Nice castle you've got here," said a voice.<br>I forcefully brought myself up to my feet and wildly looked around. What? Who said that?  
>"I would've built one as nice as this but of course I'm a boy so it wouldn't have this much frou frou. And plus, it wouldn't have been a castle-more like, a mansion copying North's workshop."<br>I was shaking now. Who was that? The voice sounded strangely familiar; it almost sounded like the voice in my head! Jack Frost! But...it wasn't in my head anymore, at least it didn't sound like it, it sounded more like...it was in the material world. As if Jack was in the physical world outside of my thoughts.  
>"But the chandelier's pretty cool."<br>I was searching around, snapping my head this way and that, slowly back up to the closed doors that led to the balcony.  
>His face came close to mine as my hands flatly touched the icy doors with my back firmly straight against it. "Hello," he said.<br>His white, spiky hair was even whiter than mine, his skin was paler than mine, but his eyes were the same as mine. Maybe a shade lighter but it was still that deep blue that held a lot of untold stories and sacred secrets.  
>I didn't scream like I thought I would. I just stood there for a second or two, huffing and puffing out my chest. I realized he was floating, not standing but floating, at my eye level. He was close enough that I could see the little glittering snowflakes that littered his blue sweatshirt and made it look more special. His pants were brown only going to his ankles and he wore no shoes.<br>He gently held a staff in his right hand that glowed a blue tint and had icy sprinkles jutting out on it from where his hand rested on it. Instead of feeling heat from his body, I felt cold. Only cold. I thought I was the only one who had people chilled to the bone. I had no idea another person could do that to me!  
>"Hello," I calmly spoke after a long while. I gulped. Why was I scared? This boy had talked to me since I was a child! He helped me through a lot of things with the exception of the times I really needed him.<br>Jack's eyes fluttered up and down my face and his smile turned gradually into a straight line. "You remember me, right?"  
>I nodded tightly, keeping my chin up as one cold hand of his gingerly cupped my face and moved under my chin. He lifted it up even more, like he was a vampire and his eyes were only on my neck.<br>My whole body shook and I felt tears well up in my eyes. The winter spirit's mouth parted as if he was searching for something and was thinking heavily about it.  
>My hands balled up into skin-stretching fists against the doors and I felt like I was chained down. I couldn't move anything. I was frozen.<br>"Why are you crying?" He said comfortingly as his feet swayed down to the ground and he was standing in front of me, his bare toes facing my high heeled shoes which once raved confidently around the room but now were numb in fear and sorrow.  
>To be honest, I couldn't pinpoint why I was crying. My tears had came out all of a sudden and I guessed my heart felt sad even though I had no idea it was breaking.<br>"Why did you leave me?" I asked quietly, turning away from his face until I could feel my pale, round cheek brush against the ice on the door.  
>"Wh-what?" The frosty boy stuttered; like he had no memory of leaving.<br>"You left me, Jack." I said his name. And it just felt so right. "Why?" At this point I realized I was closing my eyes which made little creases in the eyelids, so then I opened them and peered one blue eye at Jack.  
>"Elsa," he started. He said my name. And it felt right. "I never left you."<br>"Yes, you did!" And at this I snapped away from the door, spreading my fingers out toward him as he quickly backed away from me, a shocked and rather scared expression played on his normally cool face. As he stood there, with his hands up in defeat, I could feel the end of my fingertips getting frosty. "Once I shut myself in my room and I needed reassurance, you left me! The time that I needed it most! The time that I needed you most.." My voice became weaker and trailed off.  
>"But I never left you, Elsa." He looked up at me now with saddened eyes. "You just stopped believing in me."<br>It was my turn to be shocked and I was for a second or two but then I snapped back. "No! I never stopped believing in you! I looked and watched and waited for you every single day, Jack Frost!"  
>"Then how come you went through me?" Jack growled, his face wrinkled up, angry at what I supposedly did.<br>"Huh?" I let out after a long pause in which seemed like hours of long, painful silence. I lowered my hand that reached out to him a little, so he would feel less intimidated when he told his explanation.  
>"You went through me! After the accident and you came back from the trolls, you went right up to your room and I was in that hallway to your room. You walked right into me...and right right out of me-" he made slow hand gestures to imitate what I did to him, then he let his hand collapse to his side. "You went through me. You shut yourself out from the world, from everyone...from me."<br>The last part of his story was barely audible and with every word, I had to strain my ears more to hear him. "You stopped believing." Jack Frost finished.  
>I glanced him up and down. His face spoiled away the pain he went through when he found out that I didn't see him anymore. For a few minutes, there was silence, and all you could hear was our icy breaths, inhaling and exhaling slowly at different times.<br>Then, I suddenly recognized it. I did shut the world out, yes, but apparently I was so depressed that I didn't believe anything anymore. I was so sad that I stopped hearing him, believing him. My heart wanted Jack when my corrupted mind felt like he didn't exist.  
>Just then, I realized that it takes both your heart and your mind to believe.<br>"I'm so sorry, Jack." I murmured very apologetically, looking down at the ground.  
>"You were my first believer, Elsa...And...when you passed through me, I felt like I could die all over again."<br>I peeked my blue eyes out from under my half-closed eyelids to look at him.  
>"Wait a minute," I said confused, creasing my forehead when I turned my face up. "What made me start believing in you again?" I was thinking aloud now.<br>"I don't know," Jack said glancing up from the floor too. Apparently we were both looking at the floor. "That's for you to figure out." A sinister smile danced on his lips.  
>I pursed mine together.<p>

**{Well, that was the first chapter! I hope it wasn't too long or to detail-y for you...hehe, that's my style...so sorry! Anyway, it will probably take me a while to come out with the next chapter because I have no idea what's going to happen next! YES, I did say I plotted this whole story from beginning to end but I had no idea what was going to come after this! I would try to explain my thoughts about that to you but you will probably get confused so...I won't bother.**

**But yes, I do know what's going to happen and yes, I do know how everything's going to play out. But i just can't figure out a way to get into that...**

**So I read the terms and guidelines about creating a new story (which I know, most people don't read and choose to ignore) and it said that you must check your story for any grammatical and spelling errors and so I did that with my story and I found that there were a BUNCH of mistakes in this! You can't imagine how much of this I had to go back and fix! I really had to edit this...so for all of you people who thought this was perfect in the beginning, it wasn't...I spent thirty minutes carefully editing! But...I think it was all totally worth it because I love this story and I can't WAIT for you guys to read the rest of it!**

**'Til next time!**

**~WatchingTheRainbows}**


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